Q. It was a huge risk. The several hundred, if not thousand, people buzzing around her only instigated the furious debate raging in her brilliant mind. Her pale hand took the red passport from her pants pocket and she glared at the name imprinted inside the little booklet: Lilly. Hazel eyes scanned the faces within close proximity questioning who was to die. Callous and cold the attitude may be, this mysterious girl in no way indicated nerves or fear; the feeling she couldnât control was guilt. Guaranteeing the plane would crash was questionable yet Lilly could not help but wonder whose deaths she would be responsible for.
A sudden knock caused the young woman to regain her focus as a camera wielding, tubby man barged past her muttering something to the device in his hand. The check in process was boring and mundane as Lilly explained she did not care where she was seated on the plane and faced questioning for her small amount of luggage.
Towering escalators, oddly positioned water fountains, an array of gadget shops and overpriced clothing stores... this London airport bared little difference to any other. The diversity of the manic and frenzied travelers had always fascinated Lilly and she witnessed several arguments, frantic sprinting and hurried shopping on her way to gate seventeen. Once in the penned area, the young woman looked at her passport once again sighing at the new name and date of birth. Too many conflicting thoughts raged in her head as she realized there was no guarantee the plane would even crash and after all, she had completed journeys safely before, why should this time be any different?
With a shudder, the huge âBluSkyâ aircraft roared to life and crept down the gigantic runway. This is it, thought Lily. The day I make them proud.
A makeup clad woman in impractical heels fiddled with the lifejacket over her head as she demonstrated the emergency procedure whilst the pilot informed his passengers of the current schedule. Lillyâs eyes scrutinized every person upon the plane, a few felt unnerved by her constant staring, and there was no denying her heart beat had quickened slightly as the jet rumbled before leaving the tarmac below. Her golden unkempt hair stuck to the glass as she watched the houses disappear from the cold window and began to consider when exactly the crash would occur. Not once could you see apprehension, or any emotion for that matter, within Lillyâs eyes and she always appeared calm yet unapproachable.
A wobbly drinks trolley rolled past several times within the ten hours the plane had been airborne and the revolting smell of airplane food swept through the compartments as the neatly packed meals were unleashed. Ten long hours had passed. Two hundred and fifty passengers squirmed restlessly in their seats as a sudden bang dominated the cabin â it was beginning.
--------------------------------------------------
âIt was reported late this night that a 747 flying from Heathrow in London over to New York City has crashed landed in the middle of the Atlantic sea. Both American Coast Guards and British Rescue workers are currently prodding the water for any signs of survivorsâbut as for now, all are missing. Stay with us for more details on this disasterâ¦.â
The sounds of a television awoke Kelsie, who shook her head groggily, looking over to the other bed across the cabin. It was empty, and as she sat up, she decided to see what was happening. Opening the door and slipping out, she limberly crossed the hall into the bridge. Wrapped up in their robes, Mr. Wolff, Ms. Hallman, Seth, Annalise, and Roger were crowded around a television, watching the evening news.
âWhatâs happened?â she asked.
Mr. Wolff turned his head. âThe Darks, thatâs whatâs happened.â
âWhat did they do this time?â She came to stand beside Roger.
Mr. Wolffâs eyes never left the screen. âTheyâve just got a new member, it seems.â
âA new member? Why would they get a new member?â asked Roger, looking over at Mr. Wolff.
There was an uncertain silence. âIâm afraidâ¦I donât know.â
No....If I wrote it, how would I steal it?
A sudden knock caused the young woman to regain her focus as a camera wielding, tubby man barged past her muttering something to the device in his hand. The check in process was boring and mundane as Lilly explained she did not care where she was seated on the plane and faced questioning for her small amount of luggage.
Towering escalators, oddly positioned water fountains, an array of gadget shops and overpriced clothing stores... this London airport bared little difference to any other. The diversity of the manic and frenzied travelers had always fascinated Lilly and she witnessed several arguments, frantic sprinting and hurried shopping on her way to gate seventeen. Once in the penned area, the young woman looked at her passport once again sighing at the new name and date of birth. Too many conflicting thoughts raged in her head as she realized there was no guarantee the plane would even crash and after all, she had completed journeys safely before, why should this time be any different?
With a shudder, the huge âBluSkyâ aircraft roared to life and crept down the gigantic runway. This is it, thought Lily. The day I make them proud.
A makeup clad woman in impractical heels fiddled with the lifejacket over her head as she demonstrated the emergency procedure whilst the pilot informed his passengers of the current schedule. Lillyâs eyes scrutinized every person upon the plane, a few felt unnerved by her constant staring, and there was no denying her heart beat had quickened slightly as the jet rumbled before leaving the tarmac below. Her golden unkempt hair stuck to the glass as she watched the houses disappear from the cold window and began to consider when exactly the crash would occur. Not once could you see apprehension, or any emotion for that matter, within Lillyâs eyes and she always appeared calm yet unapproachable.
A wobbly drinks trolley rolled past several times within the ten hours the plane had been airborne and the revolting smell of airplane food swept through the compartments as the neatly packed meals were unleashed. Ten long hours had passed. Two hundred and fifty passengers squirmed restlessly in their seats as a sudden bang dominated the cabin â it was beginning.
--------------------------------------------------
âIt was reported late this night that a 747 flying from Heathrow in London over to New York City has crashed landed in the middle of the Atlantic sea. Both American Coast Guards and British Rescue workers are currently prodding the water for any signs of survivorsâbut as for now, all are missing. Stay with us for more details on this disasterâ¦.â
The sounds of a television awoke Kelsie, who shook her head groggily, looking over to the other bed across the cabin. It was empty, and as she sat up, she decided to see what was happening. Opening the door and slipping out, she limberly crossed the hall into the bridge. Wrapped up in their robes, Mr. Wolff, Ms. Hallman, Seth, Annalise, and Roger were crowded around a television, watching the evening news.
âWhatâs happened?â she asked.
Mr. Wolff turned his head. âThe Darks, thatâs whatâs happened.â
âWhat did they do this time?â She came to stand beside Roger.
Mr. Wolffâs eyes never left the screen. âTheyâve just got a new member, it seems.â
âA new member? Why would they get a new member?â asked Roger, looking over at Mr. Wolff.
There was an uncertain silence. âIâm afraidâ¦I donât know.â
No....If I wrote it, how would I steal it?
Answer
You obviously have talent at spinning a tale, but the writing is a bit cumbersome and some words are used oddly. For professional-grade writing, you have way too many modifiers (adjectives mainly). You should not describe every single thing with multiple adjectives. It makes the prose feel heavy and slow, and this is a scene that should be emotional.
Example: A sudden knock caused the young woman to regain her focus as a camera wielding, tubby man barged past her muttering something to the device in his hand.
First of all, I would wonder if the man was important in some way, since you gave him so much 'air time.' Being bumped into is a quick thing. It's over in an instant, but you make the reader notice 4 things about him. Do they matter to the story? I also find it odd that some guy rushing for the train is holding a phone and a camera at the same time. Also, the sentence is in passive voice. The subject of the sentence (the young woman) should be acting, not being acted upon.
Perhaps: She regained her focus when a tubby man muttering into his cellphone bumped her shoulder.
And about that emotion... The girl's about to blow up a plane! You told us she felt guilt, but didn't show it. Engage the reader by showing the manifestations of her emotions. Are her palms clammy? Do her eyes dart around or does she just merely 'look' at the people she's about to kill. Use specific verbs to create more reaction in the reader.
Finally, some odd word choices.
"people buzzing around her only instigated the furious debate raging in her brilliant mind." -- instigated means to start something, not to make it greater
"Rescue workers are currently prodding the water for any signs of survivors" -- prodding means to poke or push. I see a mental image of rescuers thrusting fingers into the ocean, or thrusting poles into it. Perhaps combing the water, or just searching.
Best of luck!
You obviously have talent at spinning a tale, but the writing is a bit cumbersome and some words are used oddly. For professional-grade writing, you have way too many modifiers (adjectives mainly). You should not describe every single thing with multiple adjectives. It makes the prose feel heavy and slow, and this is a scene that should be emotional.
Example: A sudden knock caused the young woman to regain her focus as a camera wielding, tubby man barged past her muttering something to the device in his hand.
First of all, I would wonder if the man was important in some way, since you gave him so much 'air time.' Being bumped into is a quick thing. It's over in an instant, but you make the reader notice 4 things about him. Do they matter to the story? I also find it odd that some guy rushing for the train is holding a phone and a camera at the same time. Also, the sentence is in passive voice. The subject of the sentence (the young woman) should be acting, not being acted upon.
Perhaps: She regained her focus when a tubby man muttering into his cellphone bumped her shoulder.
And about that emotion... The girl's about to blow up a plane! You told us she felt guilt, but didn't show it. Engage the reader by showing the manifestations of her emotions. Are her palms clammy? Do her eyes dart around or does she just merely 'look' at the people she's about to kill. Use specific verbs to create more reaction in the reader.
Finally, some odd word choices.
"people buzzing around her only instigated the furious debate raging in her brilliant mind." -- instigated means to start something, not to make it greater
"Rescue workers are currently prodding the water for any signs of survivors" -- prodding means to poke or push. I see a mental image of rescuers thrusting fingers into the ocean, or thrusting poles into it. Perhaps combing the water, or just searching.
Best of luck!
is this a good yugioh collection?
Josef
Chimeratech Overdragon, valued at $60, rare card...very rare card...well at least my edition.
Elemental Hero the Shining
Elemental Hero Thunder Giant
Elemental Hero Flame wingman
Elemental Hero Great Tornado
Elemental Hero Grand Neos
Elemental Hero Malicious Fiend
Elemental Hero Rampart Blaster
Elemental Hero Steam Healer
Elemental Hero Flare Neos
Elemental Hero Gaia
Elemental Hero Electrum
Rainbow Dragon
Rainbow Neos
Crystal beast sapphire Pegasus
Crystal beast topaz tiger
Crystal beast ruby carbuncle
Crystal beast amber mammoth
Crystal beast amethyst cat
Crystal beast cobalt Eagle
Crystal beast emerald tortoise
The Winged Dragon of Ra - signed by the creator of yugioh
Armityle the Chaos Phantom
Uria, Lord of Searing Flames
Hamon, Lord of Striking Thunder
Raviel, Lord of Phantasms
Yubel
Andro Sphinx
Sphinx Teleia
Theinen the Great Sphinx
Cyber Larva
Cyber Ouroboros
Cyber Twin Dragon
Cyber End Dragon
Elemental Hero Neos
Elemental Hero Neos Alius
Elemental Hero Avian
Elemental Hero Clayman
Elemental Hero Sparkman
Elemental Hero Burstinatrix
Elemental Hero Bubbleman
Elemental Hero Bladedge
Elemental Hero Ocean
Elemental Hero Ice Edge
Elemental Hero Stratos
Elemental Hero Heat
Elemental Hero Lady Heat
Elemental Hero Captain Gold
Elemental Hero Woodsman
Wroughtweiler
Armor Breaker
Neo-Spacian Glow Moss
Neo-Spacian Twinkle Moss
Neo-Spacian Aqua Dolphin
Neo-Spacian Air Humming Bird
Neo-Spacian Grand Mole
Dragon Master Knight
Blue Eyes Shining Dragon
Blue Eyes White Dragon â Multiple Editions
Malefic Blue Eyes White Dragon
Toon World
Blue-Eyes Toon Dragon
Toon Table of contents
Toon Summoned Skull
Toon Masked Sorcerer
Toon Alligator
Toon Mermaid
Manga Ryu-Ran
H â Heated Heart
E â Emergency Call
R â Righteous Justice
O â Oversoul
Hero Flash!!
Instant Fusion
Skyscraper
Skyscraper 2 â Hero City
Revoke Fusion
Reverse of Neos
Wonder Garage
Feather Wind
Hero counter attack
Hero Medal
Herald of Perfection
Herald of Purple Light
Jinzo
Japanese Dark Magician Girl
Celtic Guardian
Summoned Skull
Ojama Black
Ojama Green
Ojama Yellow
Book of Taiyou
Book of Life
Green Gadget
Red Gadget
Yellow Gadget
Chthonian Emperor Dragon
Chthonian Soldier
Stronghold the Moving Fortress
Destiny Hero Plasma
Destiny Hero diamond Dude
Clock Tower Prison
Destiny Signal
Cyclone Blade
The Paths of Destiny
D â Time
D â Chain
D â Counter
D â Spirit
if your reading this, you got time bro...or sis
Evil Hero Infernal Sniper
Evil Hero Wild Cyclone
Evil Hero Dark Gaia
Evil Hero Infernal Prodigy
Evil Hero Malicious Edge
Convert Contact
Mirror Gate
Swing of Memories
Over Limit
Heroâs Rule 2
Elemental Burst
Dark Fusion
Fake Hero
Kid Guard
Bubble Shuffle
Hero Signal
Kings Knight
Queens Knight
Jacks knight
Zera the Mant
Zera Ritual
Paladin of White Dragon
White Dragon Ritual
Hungry Burger
Hamburger Recipe
Black Illusion Ritual
Relinquished
Thousand-Eyes Restrict
Crab Turtle
Legendary Flame Lord
Flame Ghost
Bickuribox
Giltia the D. Knight
Flame Swordsman
Kaminari Attack
Super Robolady
Rabid Horseman
Deepsea Shark
Humanoid Word drake
Charubin the Fire Knight
St. Joan
Cyber Saurus
Punished Eagle
musician King
Crystal Release
Crystal Beacon
Crystal Abundance
Rainbow Gravity
Gem Flash Energy
Crystal Raigeki
Time Wizard
Thousand Dragon
Baby Dragon
The Six Samurai - Yaichi
The Six Samurai - Nisashi
The Six Samurai - Kamon
The Six Samurai - Yariza
Spirit of the Six Samurai
Backs to the Wall
Courts of Justice
Dragon tactics
Spawn Alligator
Darklord Edeh
Lion Alligator
Phantom of Chaos
Card ejector
Rocket Warrior
Insect Queen
Phantom Beast Rock-Lizard
Parallel World Fusion
Vampire Lord
Total Defense Shogun
Barrel Dragon
Kaiser Dragon
Dark Ruler Ha des
Junk Gardna
Trakodon
Moon envoy
Gemini Elf
Perfectly Ultimate Great Moth
Ancient Gear Golem
Dimension Explosion
Marshmallon Glasses
Winged Kuriboh LV10
Power Bond
Venominga the Deity of Poisonous Snakes
Vennominon the King of poisonous Snakes
Rise of the Snake Deity
Assault Mode Activate
Gilford the Dragon Legend
Accumulated Fortune
Scarr, Scout of Dark World
Beiige, Vangaurd of Dark World
Gren, Tactician of Dark World
Zure, Knight of Dark world
Grinder Golem
Gearfried the Iron Knight
Hydrogeddon
Oxygeddon
Helios â the Primordial Sun
Plus like 3000 more commons and like a whole other set that i didnt want to list.
ok, last time i checked it was, sorry, i check on yugico a while back and it was, and now its like 4 and im like wtf
Answer
Most of the cards you listed are from "Legendary Collection 2". Well technically it is a "collection" according to the name, but like i said, you can get most of those cards from Legendary Collection 2.
Not that great.
Most of the cards you listed are from "Legendary Collection 2". Well technically it is a "collection" according to the name, but like i said, you can get most of those cards from Legendary Collection 2.
Not that great.
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